


(you do) whatever comes your way

by Missy



Category: Professional Wrestling, World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Alternate Universe - Fusion, Crack, Gen, Humor, I'm so sorry Twig this was supposed to be serious and then..., Modeling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-27
Updated: 2013-12-27
Packaged: 2018-01-06 07:41:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1104205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missy/pseuds/Missy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My Name is Dolph Ziggler.  I used to be a model, until...</p>
            </blockquote>





	(you do) whatever comes your way

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Twig](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Twig/gifts).



> Annd this is cracky as hell. Hope you like it anyway, Twig!

My name is Dolph Ziggler. I used to be a model until…

…Did you think I was going to tell you I was a spy? With this body and this face? You can’t be serious! All you need to know is that I was a good model. Donna Karen wanted to see me and Ralph Lauren wanted to be me.

Until they blacklisted me.

So I went out for revenge. Sure, I had a little help along the way; my don’t-tell-her-I-called-her-crazy ex-girlfriend and my longtime-friend-slash-ex-bodyguard. Oh, and that Paul Heyman guy, too. It’s been a long, wild trip; we’ve blown up Sunglasses Huts, we’ve rammed cars through Banana Republic Stores; We’ve pretended to sell designer jeans and faked our way through extensive board meetings. We’ve even been forced to mispronounce Versace. Twice.

I couldn’t have done it alone, even when I really wanted to. 

At least I know what I’m doing. I have these looks and this brain, and it’s more than any other guy I know’s got – no offense, Big E. I’ve got the Big Wiggle, and I know how to apply it – it’s good for distracting guards nationwide. At least it let AJ sneak up behind him.

Now I’m a fashion outlaw, but I haven’t given up. If your foundation doesn’t match your skin tone, we’ll be there. If your spring line looks too much like last fall’s line, I’ll be there. If your last three models fell off the runway because the Columbian coke magnate you’re in for five large with chopped the heels off of their shoes, we’ll be there too.

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfiction uses characters from **Professional Wrestling** and themes from **Burn Notice** all of whom are the property of the **USA Network**. No money was gained from the writing of this fanfiction and all are used under the strictures of of the Berne Convention.


End file.
